While no longer Rick's Rap, The Co-Ed Discussion group meetings remain on their usual schedule with its new moderator, Jamie at coed_rap@yahoo.com. Thank you to Rick for running this event for TEN great years!!

Held the third Tuesday of every month at 7:30pm - Mimi's Cafe at  5180 Mission Center Road, San Diego, CA 92108

The Co-Ed Leather Rap Group is an informal group for men and women that meets monthly to discuss issues of mutual interest concerning domination, submission, bondage, discipline, and other related topics. The Group was started to fill a need that had existed in San Diego for some time.

Club X had both a men's discussion group and a women's discussion group, but no group where men and women could meet together to discuss issues of interest to all. The formation of this co-ed discussion group was proposed to the Club X board and the proposal was approved in January 1998. The first meeting with twelve participants took place in February 1998. Monthly meetings have been held since then with a growing number of participants. We have discussed a wide range of BDSM issues since then including: BDSM fantasies, what we find so exciting about this style of eroticism, BDSM literature, how to find interested BDSM partners, how to cope with "vanilla" concerns in an BDSM relationship, what if one partner wants more than the other can give, BDSM gift/play ideas for the holidays, jealousy in BDSM relationships, and many others.

FAQ: Some of the questions that have been asked in the past include:

Do I have to be a member of some organization to attend?

No, you don't have to be a member of anything to attend. The group is open to anyone who has an honest interest in BSDM.

What is the make up of the group? Women? Men?

It's been split - about 50% women, 50% men. It seems to be about equally split between Doms/Dommes and submissives, with a handful of switches thrown in for good measure. And there is a wide variety of ages - ranging between twenties to fifties and older. It's usually a good mix, representative of the community.

How many usually attend?

We have had as many as 50 - but the number lately has been more like 12 to 20.

Do people dress up?

If you mean fetish wear - not too much. Some leather, but nothing too outrageous. Most folks attend in street clothes. You're welcome to attend in jeans, shorts, uniforms or suits. You may find people dressed in black leather, too. If you ask for 'Club-X' or 'the Rap Group' at the front counter, the barista can direct you to us in the back room area.

Do you have to be a couple?

No, we have some couples, but lots of single women and single men. That was one of the reasons the group was started - so men and women could meet and find out more about each other before considering the possibility of friendship, playing together, or whatever.

Will there be a topic?

There's always a topic - and sometimes we even stick to it. The topic is published via an e-mail notice before the meeting. The upcoming topic and summaries of past discussions can be found at http://coedrap.org.

What is the format of the meeting?

As moderator, I begin by breaking the ice and presenting a topic for consideration. I then invite the participants take it from there. People generally speak from personal knowledge - their views; their own experiences; how they dealt with situations, etc. People also ask questions or raise concerns related to the topic. Of course keeping the group on the topic is sometimes like herding cats. I also try to make sure that everyone who wants to speak has the opportunity (there are some who tend to monopolize the group if given the chance).

Do I have to participate? Will I be put on the spot?

No and no. You can come and just observe if you want. I am constantly delighted and enlightened by people's contributions. When you feel comfortable with the group, you can start to participate. Some people participate more than others - some tend to ask questions, others just listen or participate very infrequently. I welcome your participation at whatever level you find comfortable.

What is the average experience level of the group?

It's probably a couple of years. There is one couple who attend who have been in the scene for over twenty years - and others who are fairly inexperienced.

Are beginners welcome?

Of course - we were all beginners at one time. Our knowledge is more valuable when we share it. I wish something like this had been available when I was first exploring BDSM - it might have saved me a lot of pain in dealing with a partner who really didn't understand what it was all about. And that's another reason the group was started.